The Quick Answer
If the property is jointly owned: Yes, legally, both owners must agree to a sale. Your ex cannot be forced out immediately.
But: You are not stuck. If you can’t agree, you can apply to the Family Court for an order compelling the sale. Courts make these orders regularly. It’s not a fast or cheap process, but it is a process, and it ends with a resolution.
If the property is in your sole name: Your ex may still have matrimonial home rights, which means they can register a notice that prevents you from selling without involving them. But this too can be resolved through the courts.
For most Wirral couples, the family home is the biggest shared asset. At an average price of £222,000, the stakes are real. Whichever situation you’re in, you have options. This guide sets out what they are and what each one involves.
Why Is Your Ex Refusing?
Before going straight to the legal routes, it’s worth a moment on this. Not to excuse the behaviour, but because understanding the reason sometimes reveals a faster route through.
Fear about where they’ll live. If your ex has nowhere obvious to go, agreeing to sell can feel like agreeing to be homeless. This is particularly acute where children are involved and they fear losing the family home means losing stability for the kids.
Uncertainty about the numbers. They may not understand what they’d actually receive from a sale, whether it would be enough to rehouse themselves, what happens to the mortgage.
Wanting to stay. They may genuinely want to buy you out and stay in the property, but haven’t said so clearly, or don’t yet know whether they can afford it.
Using it as leverage. Refusing to cooperate on the house can be a way of controlling the pace of other financial negotiations.
Spite or grief. Sometimes the refusal isn’t rational. Divorce is loss, and people process loss in different ways. Obstructing the sale can be a way of holding on to something that’s ending.
Knowing the reason matters because the right response differs in each case. If your ex wants to buy you out but hasn’t said so, a direct conversation might resolve it in days. If the refusal is emotional, mediation gives both parties a space to get past it. If it’s tactical, legal advice will tell you how to move forward despite it.
Your Options, Step by Step
Step 1: Try to Negotiate Directly
If communication is still possible (even difficult, strained communication), a direct conversation is always worth trying first. It’s free, it’s fast, and it avoids escalating costs and conflict.
Frame it around practical questions rather than positions. Not “you need to agree to sell” but “can we talk about what would need to happen for you to feel okay about this?” The answer might be a longer timeline, a specific valuation process, assurance about the split, or something else you can actually provide.
Keep any agreement in writing, whether by text or email. If something is agreed verbally and later denied, you want a record.
Step 2: Mediation
If direct negotiation isn’t working, mediation is the next step, and it’s also a legal requirement before you can apply to court. You must attend a MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting) before a financial remedy application can be made. Some exemptions apply (domestic abuse, urgent situations), but the default is mediation first.
Mediation involves a trained, neutral third party helping both of you work through the disagreement. The mediator doesn’t decide anything. They facilitate. Most property disputes that go to mediation are resolved in four to six sessions.
Cost: Typically £100–£300 per person per session. If you’re on a low income, legal aid may be available for the mediation costs.
Why it works: The mediator can ask your ex questions you can’t. They can help both parties understand the practical implications of not reaching agreement, and the costs of going to court. Many people who were deeply dug in on their positions find their way to an agreement once the realistic alternatives are visible.
Step 3: Apply to the Family Court (Financial Remedy Order)
If mediation fails or your ex refuses to engage with it, you can apply to the Family Court for a financial remedy order. This is where a judge reviews the full financial picture and makes a binding decision, including, where appropriate, ordering the sale of the property.
The court fee: £321 to make a financial remedy application (rose from £303 in July 2026).
The legal fees: This is where costs escalate significantly. Contested financial remedy proceedings typically cost £10,000+ in legal fees per party, and can run to much more in complex or prolonged cases.
The timeline: Six to eighteen months from application to final order, depending on court availability and whether the proceedings are contested.
What the court considers: The Section 25 factors: income, needs, contributions and children’s welfare. The same framework as any financial settlement. The court doesn’t punish an ex for being difficult; it focuses on what’s fair given the circumstances. We’ve covered these factors in detail in our guide to splitting assets in a divorce.
One important caveat: If children are living in the property, the court’s first priority is their welfare. Rather than ordering an immediate sale, the court may make a Mesher Order: a deferred sale until the youngest child finishes education. Wanting an immediate sale doesn’t guarantee the court will order one if doing so would leave children without stable housing.
Step 4: TOLATA, for Unmarried Couples or Post-Divorce Situations
If you’re not married, or if you’re divorced but there’s no consent order covering the property, the route is different. You can apply for an order for sale under the Trusts of Land and Appointment of Trustees Act 1996.
Under TOLATA, the court weighs:
- The intentions of the people who originally created the trust (i.e., why you bought the property together)
- The welfare of any children occupying the property
- The interests of any secured creditor (your mortgage lender)
- The circumstances and wishes of each person with an interest
TOLATA gives the court wide powers, including the ability to order a sale. It’s the standard route for unmarried couples and for any property dispute that falls outside the matrimonial law framework.
What Are Home Rights?
If the family home is in your ex’s sole name, not yours, you may worry that they could sell it without you knowing. This is where Home Rights come in.
Under the Family Law Act 1996, a spouse has the right to occupy the matrimonial home even if they’re not on the title deeds. These rights can be registered as a notice at the Land Registry. Once registered, the property cannot be sold, mortgaged, or transferred without the notice-holder’s involvement. The Land Registry will flag it to any solicitor working on the transaction.
You can register a Home Rights notice yourself using Form HR1 from the Land Registry. There is no fee. You don’t need your ex’s consent to do it.
Important nuance: Registering a Home Rights notice is a protective measure, not an obstruction. It doesn’t prevent the sale. It ensures you’re involved in it. If your ex has registered one against your property, it doesn’t mean the house can never be sold. It means it can’t happen without them knowing.
Home Rights end when the divorce is finalised (the Final Order), unless the court has ordered otherwise. If you rely on this protection, be aware that it has a time limit.
What the Court Won’t Do
It’s worth being clear about this, because the court process is sometimes approached as a way to “win.” It isn’t.
Courts will not order a sale just because one party wants it and the other doesn’t. There must be a good reason, and the outcome must be fair. Courts will not punish your ex for being difficult, for refusing to engage, or for delaying proceedings. The focus is always on what’s fair given the full circumstances.
If your ex’s refusal is tactical and they have no real defence, that will be apparent to the judge. But the process of getting to that point is slow and expensive regardless.
And if children are involved, children’s welfare comes first. The court will always ask whether an immediate sale serves the children’s best interests, and if the answer is no, the outcome may be a deferred sale rather than an immediate one.
Practical Steps to Take Now
Regardless of which route you end up taking, these steps are worth taking immediately.
Keep communication in writing. Text and email create a record. If your ex agrees to something verbally and later denies it, written records protect you. This matters even if you’re not planning on going to court. It creates clarity.
Don’t move out without legal advice. Leaving the family home can affect your claims and your Home Rights. Talk to a solicitor before you go.
Don’t stop paying the mortgage. Even if your ex has stopped paying their share, even if you’re furious. Missed payments damage both credit scores and create the risk of repossession, which serves nobody. See our guide to divorcing with a mortgage for what to do if payments are becoming unmanageable on a single Wirral income.
Register a Home Rights notice if you’re not on the deeds. This is free to do, requires no consent, and protects your position if you’re concerned the property could be sold without your involvement.
Get legal advice early. Not necessarily to start proceedings, but to understand exactly where you stand. Knowing your legal position changes how you negotiate. Many people who feel completely stuck find, after a consultation with a family solicitor, that they have more options than they realised.
Once You've Reached Agreement
If you and your ex have reached agreement, or you’re close to it, the priority shifts to getting the process done cleanly and quickly. A prolonged sale on the open market means months of continued connection, viewings, negotiations, and uncertainty. For many people going through divorce, that ongoing contact is its own source of stress.
A fast sale eliminates most of that. See our guide to selling a house after divorce for a full comparison of the routes. If you weren't married, see our guide to selling a jointly owned property after separation.
Once you've both agreed, tell us about the property. A buyer from our network means no viewings and no chain, so it doesn't drag on for months.